Count one, two, three ♥

Infinite

2011-03-28T04:06:00.004+08:00

These two are my life. I love how even though it's inevitable for people to walk in and out of my life, I know they'll always be there. Aww I love you sweethearts ♥

2011-03-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

There’s a story behind every person. There’s a reason why they’re the way they are. They aren’t just like that because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it’s impossible to fix them.

2011-03-13T02:05:00.003+08:00

i can't explain my disappearance from this space because honestly, i've just been lazy. i'm just gonna post a few pictures because i am beyond sleepy now. it's not even 3 yet and this is goooood! MUST.STOP.NOCTURNAL BEHAVIOR.

so today #1 i walked along orchard road all by myself with a clothes rack and a bag of clothes, looking like a hobo. definitely. #2 a guy offered to help me but i wanted to look strong and all so i was like, nahhh i'm cool. #3 i walked behind him and continued struggling with my stuff. #4 set up the rack all by myself *beams* and was all alone at the stall while waiting for those 2 suckas. #5 for once i didn't spend more than i earn today ^^

i can't promise you i didn't get into a lot of near-accidents today because of my top. it got hooked everywhere! hmmmm i should give it away to kausies, double the probability of an accident >:)

till...next time! ♥

oh how can i forget! before i go, I ESCAPED TPJC BITCHIEZZZZZZ! forever and ever and ever.

2011-02-06T01:52:00.003+08:00

Massacore advertorial

So i've decided to stop bumming around all day and do something productive. For example, continue working on my blogshop, like how i did when i was 15. It's amazing what a 15-year-old-me could accomplish. I actually had everything going good for me. Blogshop, music "career" (Valentique), even love was going amazingly well (or so i thought).

I'm a different person now but i guess it's safe to say i want some of my 15-year-old self back.

Miss take-chances
Miss i-can-do-anything
Miss i-don't-care-what-haters-say

And i'll start with this, with Massacore. All over again. Full fucken swing.

I'm starting with sprees for now and hopefully someday i can start collections of my own. Or even manufacture my own pieces. I'm getting excited already!

So yuppp, i'm currently having a spree/pre-order on korean apparel. Or at least i think it's korean. I actually don't really like asian sprees because of the way the clothes are styled. But really, if you style it well, it will turn out way too pretty! You don't need to spend twice as much on Topshop, Zara etc etc, where you're actually paying for the brand. Plus, those kinda clothes are kinda common since like, EVERYBODY shops at Topshop. Or maybe about 70% of the teenage population. No offense to those who do, i happen to love Topshop ;)

But it's time for something different, yes?

This blouse is a wardrobe staple! And i really really love the way it's styled. Brilliant!

All i can say is, I FREAKING LOVE THIS!

This is really pretty too! Available in 3 colours: navy green, grey, brown. I like the navy green one most, as shown by pictureeee!

And yesss, there's more at http://themassacore.blogspot.com. I specially selected the pieces. So whatever there is on Massacore, i really like and will definitely wear them! I don't believe in selling things just because they are popular or whatever whatever. This is my blogshop afterall :)

Oh, do check out the layout. Really simple but this airhead took a long long time to figure out the html and all! hahahaha sigh.

And do me a favour pretty please?

Click on the "vote for us on FML" icon and when redirected to the page, just click on "Enter and vote". That's alllll! Oh, FML in this context does not mean fuck my life okay. Hahaha, the shit is getting old! Eventho i don't really say it much in conversations. The only person allowed to fuck my own life is me k? ME ME ME ME ME!

Okay, sidetrack, i think the models are reallyyyyy pretty! *dies*

I WUV YOU ALL! ♥

themassacore.blogspot.com

2011-01-23T03:21:00.004+08:00

To infinity and beyond

On the 5th of January, i said i'll blog about part II of 2010 "tomorrow, or something." Welllll, here's my "tomorrow, or something", like 10 days later. Am i awesome or what? ;)

So here's my part II. And since it's the 23rd, at a perfect timing too.

Guess what i'm gonna blog about yet?! :D

My dufus right here.

I would make fun of him here talking about how he's such a douche and all, but then he would say how i'm never proud of him. No, love, i'm proud of you. I'm very proud of you. I really don't know what i did to deserve such an amazing boyfriend, but i'm really thankful for that.

Not all guys make their girlfriends priority. Not all guys would travel across the country by public transport all the time just so they could meet their girlfriends. Not all guys would hold on and wait for months for a girl who treated them badly. Not all guys know how it feels like to love someone sincerely and selflessly no matter what. Not all guys can love me even at my worst. Not all guys are like you.

I'm smiling to myself as i'm typing all these and i'm thinking about everything we've been through. You make me so happy. And complete. And i've never been so sure of anyone my whole life.

I like poking you. And annoying you. And messing your hair up. And punching your boncet tummy (you have no abs or pacs stop being delusional! hehehehe). And getting fascinated by your biceps. And did i mention annoying you? And not a thousand squabbles will make me hate you.

Anws, we're a 2 month old baby! Hehehehe.

We've been dating for more than a year though ;)

And yes that's what makes this really special. How you've waited for so many months and even though i rejected you several times, you still did not give up.

I was in love with you.
Still in love with you.
And will forever be in love with you.

And I'll pray for this to last.

Rotating, I'm shaking
I hope you turn around in time
Tides changing, I'm waiting
You and I are one of a kind

♥

2011-01-05T01:12:00.012+08:00

2010 ♥

Pretty much sums everything up. 2010 was a year of change. I made the worst decision in my life: to go to a junior college. But then again, I'm thankful I made that decision because I met the best people ever. From OG23 to A04 to MDC. Like I said, best people ever. These pictures do no justice because like 80% of 2010 was spent in school. Either in classrooms sleeping away, or running on the track, or in the cafe/canteen having breaks with the girls, or in the dance studio practicing for college day/teachers' day/flash mob. That's how I'm gonna remember 2010 by. Kinda sucks to know 2011 won't be the same. Fine, it'll be 2010 again, but with a whole different bunch of people. I don't really know what my new year resolutions are. But one thing for sure, I CANNOT BE LATE FOR SCHOOL THIS YEAR. I spent god knows how much on MCs and cabfares last year just to save my ass from getting suspended. Ahh screw the rule. But then again, since I might not be staying... ;)

Sorry I'm 5 days late but,
HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU GUYS! ♥

P/S: Sorry for the horrifying first picture XD I forgot to mention that in 2010, I dyed my hair black way too many times too.

Part 2 tomorrow! Or something ;)

2010-12-26T02:34:00.002+08:00

Hi. Since I'm writing a song now I actually have something to blog about hehehe.

Songs are like.. personal diaries. You write them when there's nobody else to turn to. It's the only thing that keeps people sane sometimes. Or you can write them when you actually wanna bitch about someone but you don't wanna stoop to a low level by bitching about them behind their backs. So, write a song! That's like killing two birds with one stone. Moral of the story is.. never mess with anyone who writes songs ;)

I have no idea how many songs I've written so far. The last completed song I ever wrote was the one for Returning Ambience. That was in August I think. A long long time ago. When everything was different. So... I currently have 2 half-written songs I've been procrastinating to finish. Sighh h8 my procrastinating habit.

And the thing about me is, I don't know how to play the guitar. So my songs are just lyrics and tunes without any music. Sad :(

OKAY NIGHTS

2010-12-22T04:12:00.002+08:00

ICE ICE BABY

I was bored so...

Yeah i wish that's my voice but hell no it isn't. Hahahaha. No matter what i can never be as amazing as...

What else can I say but amazing? This girl, she's beautiful inside and out. She's inspiring. Plus she has her own distinct style, which i love. LIGHTS ♥

2010-12-15T01:09:00.003+08:00

I've been procrastinating blogging, alot. Like I said, it's because of all the free time in my hands. Haha. Will post pictures of the class bbq (from like 2/3 weeks ago btw) tomorrow. I'LL TRY! :D

Dance practice tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow. And the day after the day after tomorrow. And it's supposed to be my holidays! D:

Well goodnight! xox

2010-12-07T01:36:00.004+08:00

All the right moves

I'm the only one who looks excited and all. Look at that stoned face! So...

ANNOYING!

But still one of the reasons for me to be happy with my life. At least one thing in my life is figured out.

HEE HEE

Anws this showoff video is a must-watch!

Poor me :(

I know we've got it good
But they got it made
And the grass is getting greener each day

I know things are looking up
But soon they'll take us down
Before anybody's knowing our name

xox

2010-11-26T01:26:00.002+08:00

(via punkanddisorderly)

"I act like I didn't. And I pretended I didn't. But I did. Some nights I'll just lie down in my bed and think of you and cry."

I did not rip that off from anywhere okay! It's a text i sent. So... it's 100% me.

XD

2010-11-24T21:59:00.003+08:00

I THINK, it is time i update my blog. I've abandoned it for too long. Way too long. I won't say i've been busy because i haven't. I actually have all the time in the world. That's when laziness sets in. Hehe sorry. Don't worry i'm still alive ;)

Ummmm yeah so where do i begin.

OH. The one thing that happened that caused me to have all this free time in the world.

RETENTION

I keep telling myself it's okay to retain and all. All i need is an extra year. But you don't know how alone i feel in the retainee world.

Okay I actually have so much more to blog about but my.mind.is.blank. Ahh damn it i shall just vlog the rest of the stuff. So lazy to type anws.

xox

2010-11-10T05:23:00.003+08:00

PW IS OVERRR! :D

OP went surprisingly smoothly for me. Excluding the questions part. Hahaha. But whatever. For once I was rather calm TALKING in front of an audience. For FIVE minutes.

Before OP itself, I was reminding myself that it's just a performance and I don't really have to be myself to do it. This is one of the rarest times when not being yourself is beneficial ;) So I made up this character I was supposed to be while giving my speech. So she's: calm, confident, friendly, with a likeable personality. I don't know why but I was smiling away like some moron throughout the whole presentation. But it's okay, we are supposed to smile anyway :) And surprisingly I was only slightly nervous during the first minute and after that everything went fine. YAY MY ALTER EGO (Y)

I think I'm starting to freak some of you out now. Hehehe. But like I said, it as more of a performance to speech :)

It's 6AM now and I should go to sleep. Going to the beach with the girls tomorrow! And having lunch with ♥ on Thursday, it's been sooo long. My life is complete.

xox

2010-11-05T00:59:00.004+08:00

Cause you're stupid baby, when you're sane

2010-11-02T02:51:00.003+08:00

I had like the awesomest weekend ever.

It started on Friday and ended on Monday. Hehe.

Friday: The Social Network with Nanah. Some movie about a bunch of geeks. Smartass geeks from Harvard who party hard. I was seriously wondering how on earth they can party like crazy and still be so freaking smart. I am neither.

Saturday: Just pictures to sum it all up.

Like a little boy oh my god!

I SWEAR, Amirul's the fussiest eater ever. FUSSIEST. Seafood, allergy. Food court, no. Fast food, abs will be gone =__=. Zomg I could go crazy just thinking of places to eat. It's been almost a year and I'm still not used to it. Oh well, good luck to meeeee.

Sunday: We went trick or treating around Alyssa's neighbourhood. It was so fun. First time trick or treating in my 17 years of life. I suffer from a deprived childhood. My costume's kinda screwed up hehehe.

Sarah and I slept over. We watched Confessions of a Shopaholic and slept in the attic. So comfy!

Yup. Awesomest weekend ever.

GOODNIGHT! ♥

2010-10-25T22:24:00.005+08:00

By the time I get all these, I'll be dead broke.

Anws, anyone knows where I can get the 2nd one? It's a cardi-blazer kinda thing. EATINGZOMBIE ran out of it. I is sad. Very very sad :(

2010-10-19T20:58:00.004+08:00

Too Much

Here's a song i've been falling asleep to for the past few months. Of course there were a few other songs ;)

Here's for you, love.

I admit, I miss seeing your face, babe
Being alone is starting to take it's toll
I'm cold and it's getting old

I admit
I should've made some changes
We were so smothered in love
We didn't have a chance to come up for air

What a waste
Where did the time go?
Where did our minds go?
I don't know
What's this place?
Where did our home go?
We won't know
I don't know

Too much of anything
Is too much
Too much of love
Can be too much
We had too much time
Too much us
So we fought like tomorrow was promised
Too much, too much, too much, too much
Too much, too much, too much
Too much

I admit, I'm still watching the days go by
Sleeping alone is starting to break me down
It's cold, but I should've known

I admit
I made a few mistakes, babe
We were so caught up in love
We didn't have a chance to come up for air

What a waste
Where does the time go?
Where did our minds go?
I don't know
What's this place?
Where did my heart go?
We'll never know
I'll never know

I need to find a reason to feel
Like everything was meant to be let go
Take it slow
'Cause I can't be on my own

Too much of anything is too much.

2010-10-17T06:08:00.003+08:00

LOOK WHO'S GOT LONG HAIR NOWWW

Haha fake onlyyy. Long wavy hair can be really really troublesome man. Especially when you have short hair now ;) It's okayyy when my hair grows i'm gonna perm it so i don't have to kill my hair with heat like, everytime i go out?

I know, i've changed alot. i used to swear by straight hair. But well, i grew up. hehe.

And naah this hair isn't permanent. Only for dressy uppy days.

SHORT STRAIGHT HAIR FTW! :D

2010-10-13T02:21:00.003+08:00

The fake scenes, the plastic-made dreams.

With the exception of me possibly retaining, my life is complete :)

2010-10-06T05:30:00.002+08:00

<3

I freaking aww-ed at this.

I ♥ TUMBLR TUMBLR TUMBLR.

Shall post Tumblr obsessions next time, when i'm less uhhhh, preoccupied? Definitely less preoccupied.

And oh yes, do NOT ask me how my Econs and GP paper went. I already feel like promos are over tho. Hehe.

2010-10-01T14:21:00.002+08:00

There's so much time to figure out the rest of our lives.

The reason why i'm here blogging is because i'm printing some shit i was supposed to print months ago. Hehe. I am prolly the most undisciplined JC kiddo around.

I'm getting stressed up because i'm not feeling the stress at all yet and promos is in just 3 days. AND I HAVE NOT YET STARTED STUDYING.

And i don't know why i don't even care.

I don't wanna retain, i don't wanna go to poly, i don't even wanna be a J2.

Party this Friday. Sounds good but i'll feel super guilty. After A-levels, i'm gonna party my life away (:

For now, FUCK MY LIFE.

2010-09-25T03:02:00.004+08:00

School is the cause of all this mess.

Sometimes I wonder what we're all studying so hard for. To the point where we sacrifice sleep, quality time with loved ones, LIFE.

Even after University, we'll get jobs and will be working damn hard for the rest of our lives just so we can afford our materialistic needs.

And then we die.

So what's the point of life, exactly?

2010-09-18T01:23:00.003+08:00

We've been here before.

One day I was so bored with my life (LOL) and wanted to do something different. So my sister and I went out to take pics one day. Editing pictures now. Here's a sneaky peek:

My editing skills suck. Someone, HELP!

Okay I'm acting like I don't have promos in less than 3 weeks. HELP!!!!!!

D:

So why don't we go somewhere only we know?

2010-09-13T23:55:00.007+08:00

Haven't been blogging at all. Believe me when i say i don't have the time. I don't even know where the time went. Half the time i'm in my own world XD

So it was hari raya like 3 days ago.

Selamat hari raya! Forgive me for anything i've said or done okay! ♥

Oh, before i post pictures, i would like to tell you guys that i'm officially a pussy. I was supposed to audition for the UK trip but i backed out cause we were supposed to do a 3-minute speech and i'm really bad at speeches and cause there were so many people auditioning for it and a lot of them are really good so i didn't wanna waste time writing my speech. But guess what? Everyone who auditioned for it from my class got in. Regret. Regreeeeet. I could be getting excited right now to go to UK in December. I'm sucha weener i swear. Oh wells i'll make up for it. And i'm gonna try going for next year's UK trip :)

Okay pictures!

And then there's Duxton. Coolest place ever omg. Here's the view from the window at night:

Sky Garden of Duxton:

And i'm so proud of this pic. A picture of my sister before she fell. So funny XD

Yup. More next time :)

2010-09-08T01:18:00.002+08:00

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again.

Today was freaking awesome.

Without you.

I was looking forward to meeting you but when you started bringing up shit, no i don't want to deal with that anymore. I don't wanna meet you just so that we can start squabbling again. No wait, more like me listening to every single thing you have to say, every single insult, while thoughts are running through my head yet i keep quiet because words get in the way.

Stop complaining about how I don't appreciate you.
Stop putting all the blame on me.

Remember when I started to change?
It's when you became some kind of possessive freak.
And you still are.

Talk about me changing.
What about you?
When I got to know you, you were way different.

I'm sorry but life does not revolve around you.
Did not, does not, never will.

There's so much more I can say. But I'll just leave it to that.

Imagine this okay guyz: You receive a text and you decide to reply later. 10 minutes later, text from the same person: "You there?" And it doesn't only happen once. Not even twice. Like a million times. It's annoying the fuck out of me. But well, it won't anymore.

:)

Blame Me! Blame Me! Blame Me!
For mistakes you've made but you can't own
Hate Me! Hate Me! Hate Me!
For every honest word that you postpone

Anberlin has like the best songs and i can relate to every single one of them i swear! And the last post, i don't even know how that started. It was written out of anger or something. I don't know? Try to visualize it. It scares me. Like, where did that come from maaaan?! I told you my head's a dangerous place to be in. Hehe.

When I watched you walk away, well I never thought I'd say I'm fine without you.

2010-09-07T04:34:00.004+08:00

Sometimes through everything, you learn to build walls. With time the walls become taller and stronger, until they become completely unshakable. That's when you realize how you've become a totally different person. How you're trying to break out of those walls, but what you built to keep danger out, keeps you locked in.

You become cold, you become almost heartless.

2010-09-05T02:40:00.005+08:00

HI.

Pretty busy week. Got 2 days off tho hehehe. One of which i skipped school and went back to TKGS. Met like a lot of people i miss terribly.

And at night met Nadhrah ♥ (omg i missed that doose) and we went to Shivani's party. Shivani's friend took a lot of scandalous pictures of us oh myy. Maybe i'll post them when i get them. Plus my ass got hit by a water balloon cause i was tryna protect my phone. The things i do for love. Even though my phone's been attempting suicide a few times lately. And it's 5th September now already so happy birthday shivani! :D

I have no idea what else to say i'm so sleepy now. And i think i need to start hxc mugging. Maybe tomorrow. Lmao procrastinator alert!

"To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are"

Goodnight ♥

2010-09-01T06:34:00.002+08:00

Just running away from all of the ones who love you.

From everything.

2010-08-29T23:41:00.002+08:00

Shadows swim
I hear them laughing at the state I'm in
Their eyes keep staring and they just won't quit
And they just whisper your name

I know i said i'm not as clueless as some people think i am, but this time i really am. I feel like i did something wrong but i have no freaking idea what.

Maybe i don't even wanna know either.

Maybe i shouldn't have started talking to you months ago.

2010-08-29T07:35:00.006+08:00

HI IT'S 7:35 ON A SUNDAY MORNING. AND LOOK AT THE SKYYY!

It's prettier than that in real life i swear. Okay so i haven't been to bed yet. LOL. I will right after this post.

So there's so many freaking things to blog about i don't even know where to start. Okay i actually forgot a few. But anws, had teachers' day performance like twice this week and we were kinda satisfied. Eventho we didn't do as good as rehearsals but it's okay! (:

♥

And YOG ended, and it means that Croatia guy is leavinggg :( But it's okay cause Alyssa and i are gonna migrate to Croatia hehehe.

The Polish people came to our school on Wednesday. And while we were having practice one of the guys came and ask me if they could dance with us rofl it was damn funny. But all i could care about was getting the steps perfect cause performance was the next day so i didn't bother much. I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HIS FACE. Trying to psycho myself that he wasn't cute. Not caring even about Polish guys. Croatian guys ftw. No, Crotia guy ftw (Y) So cute okay: blue eyes, nice hair, swimmer. Okay i'm getting sadder and sadder now.

Shall go sleep now before i whine more.

GOOD MORNING AND GOOD' DAY!

2010-08-25T21:48:00.002+08:00

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

In econs today, i was thinking about how much i hate school. And I was planning escape plans. Hehehe.

I have so much to blog about but maybe next time.

I'm so.fucking.tired.

Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like school.

2010-08-23T00:25:00.005+08:00

Did nothing the whole weekend, school-wise. I am seriously gonna die.

Stayed up the whole night yesterday. Planned to do homework but nooo. I ended up tumblr-ing, texting, talking on the phone for a bit, facebooking and everything else but homework.

OH WELL THAT'S JUST ME.

It's funny how when someone's there, you take them for granted.
But when they leave, there's this huge hole in your life. You miss them like crazy.

2010-08-22T05:13:00.003+08:00

Untitled

Sick of homework, homework, and more homework. So jealous of people I know who have like soundchecks, gigs, or whatever else everyday. Instead of homework. And being stuck in school. And wanting to get out.

Was at Baybeats today. The bands were awesomeee. The music were goood. Local bands are (Y). The only reason why they're moving nowhere is because most of us don't support them. I know of people who hate local bands, I don't even know why. If we don't support them, who would?

Tuls and I wanted to stalk An Honest Mistake. HEHE. They were awesome okay. And they were walking right infront of us ^^

Talking about local bands, have you seen R(a)'s music video yet?

LOL i find it funny somehow. But (Y). That's shaun, suraj, jian liang and aaron for you. The band is a 5-member band noww. Plus weihao (bombom). Why do i feel like i'm promoting them? Hahahahaha. And yup that's the song i was writing lyrics to.

I don't know why my dad's so bothered by who i'm chatting with early in the morning. I'm too old for that. I was talking to the most annoying person ever btw. HAHAHAHAHA. Okay i'm just as annoying. Tehehe.

Well okay me is gonna sleep now.

"I wish I could gay marry my hot fucking self"

HAHAHAHAHA.

2010-08-15T23:24:00.003+08:00

Nerd at work

Uh, yeah.

That's how i left my house today. Sighhh if only i can be as nerdy as i actually look.

Unedited versions. Will edit them when i have the time :D

TIME TO SLEEP TEHEHEHEE

2010-08-15T22:11:00.002+08:00

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long

2010-08-15T02:53:00.005+08:00

Photographs and gasoline

Today was a goooood day!

Went to Scape with buffo at noon, and then we saw The Click Five. We just happened to be there while they were there. We couldn't be bothered much anyways but yeah, we saw them (: And after that Jenny got stuck in my head. Because we came just in time for their last song. Hehe. Oh and Kyle Patrick really reminded me of Robert Pattinson. Like when we first came i was wondering why there was a vampire up on stage. Okay so after that we went to the flea. The flea was pretty good but it was so freaking stuffy we didn't have the mood to go around. So in the end i just got a top and a gold+black bracelet :(

Went for PW meeting after that at the airport and oh my god try sitting in the middle of Coffee Bean when you're fasting. The earthquakes in my tummy got worst i tell you.

Yup so i might be going shopping tomorrow because i am seriously running out of clothes. And there's 3 CAs this week, and i haven't studied for any of them yet. But studying for CAs = NOT ME.

You know i'm starting to realise that the exams i can really study for are only major exams. Like O' levels. Yes, not even prelims. No matter how hard i try, the full concentration is never there. So uhh, let's just hope a miracle happens and i pass my promos. Then i promise i will study really hard for A's.

Well that's me for you :)

People just don't get me and the way i do things but i don't think they even have to. Plus i'm kinda happy the way i am. Imagine me being all responsible and careful and stuff. Oh my god it just won't feel right.

Me = messy, clumsy, irresponsible, a walking disaster.

That's what you get when my mom stumbled down a flight of steps while i was in her tummy XD

2010-08-11T22:58:00.003+08:00

Seventeen

Oh my god all 127 of you ♥

I swear i have the best people around me!

And i'm thankful for all of you. Every.single.one.of.you

(inserts a thousand and one hearts)

Last night i was supposed to do my eom but i got distracted due to the sudden flooding of notifications/vibrating phone/msn. LOL. Soo the first person to wish me last night was bombom. Countdown somemore hahahaha! So funny how the person i've known the shortest was the first person to wish me. Like a week? Oh wellllll. And then my phone started to flood and i'm so sorry for the late reply you guys, i had to delete old texts to make way for the new texts. Muff wished me first and then Isya and then Tulika and somemore after that. YAY HEART THEM ALL! ♥ :D

And i feel like an idiot typing "thank you" repeatedly on facebook but oh wellll for them i'll risk looking like an idiot. tehehehe

Okay gonna sleep now birthday over already.

GOODNIGHT! :D

2010-08-10T02:23:00.005+08:00

Today, i felt pretty ugly.

Just another one of those days.

But it's worst today because i already feel ugly even before stepping out of my house. Usually it's right after i step out when i compare myself to everyone else out there. I am not diagnosed with any mental illness whatsoever but i'm certain i have some insecurity disorder or something like that. And for some of you who don't even know shit and assume shit, leave me alone. I don't edit the LIGHTING of my pictures to look pretty. I edit it to hide imperfections. And i repeat, LIGHTING only. I don't own photoshop so i don't edit my features like my eyes, my nose, my mouth, my chin or whatever. I don't even want to. I kinda like my features teehee :) Well i guess i'll have to do something about my skin complexion real soon.

And if you don't know what i mean by lighting,

it's that okay. The bottom right is the original. Seeeee, no changes in features.

Okay whatever. Went to watch fireworks with Isya just now! We've been spending the past National Days together i realized. Hehehe yay ♥

Felt pretty girly today, cause of the outfit and shit. Okay that's not even girly. That's woman-y.

Okay so here are the freaking beautiful fireworks, and silhouette of the tree...

So pretty omg!

Can we pretend that fireworks in the night sky are like exploding stars?
I could really use a wish right now.

2010-08-09T04:11:00.005+08:00

I'm made wax, Larry, what are you made of?

It's 4:39AM and i haven't even started on my "holiday" homework. Procrastination at its best (Y)

I shall not blog about how happy i am because whenever i do, i'll be unhappy after that. Tehehehehe. Okay not happy when i'm hungry, which is nowww.

But hunger pangs > PMS

I'd rather eat until i become fat then have suicidal thoughts planted in my head thank you. Like i was super hungry the whole of last week. One day, i had porridge in the morning. And when i reached school i was complaining to liyana about how hungry i was. Then i ate during break and after like an hour i got hungry again. What is this you tell me!

And these girls....

they're freaking cute oh my god. They were planning for my birthday celebration when i was sitting at the same table as them! Okay fine i was sleeping but still. I pretty much know what was going on. Hahaha so funny. But thank you girls for a super advanced birthday dinner! My birthday isn't even here yet! And complete clique picture finally ♥

Meeting up with Isya and Shahirah tmrw tehehehe after so long! Fireworks fireworks fireworks! :)

OH OH OH, happy birthday Singapore! You annoy me at times especially cause of the pressure you exert on students here and the high expectations of everyone but oh well there's no safer place in the world. I'll still try to break up with you as soon as possible. Hehehe.

But for now i'm still stuck here. It's already close to 6 and how's my homework going? Stagnant. I.AM.SUCH.A.FAILURE.

And if you haven't seen the video yet...

I need autotune omg.

I.AM.SUCH.A.FAILURE x2

2010-08-04T01:17:00.003+08:00

I shall blog before i lose my train of thoughts. Heh

I actually got tix to see Katy Perry on Monday but i thought it was on Tuesday so i missed it! Tulika and i were so ready to skip school okay! We shall just pretend it didn't happen. I never got the tix. It was all a dream (:

The first time being in a studio with Returning Ambience was kinda fun. I'm still partially deaf tho. It was super loud, i couldn't even hear myself! I thought i sucked and maybe i did. I seriously couldn't hear myself so i wouldn't know. And after that my ears stopped functioning properly. I had to go like HUH a lot of times even tho the streets were really quiet. Sooo there'll be a second time but until then i'll have to add power to my voice. I have no idea how i'm gonna do that.

And i swear they are awesome people!

2010-08-01T21:47:00.002+08:00

soooo..

i'm still having flu and sore throat. haha so gonna die tmrw. and if you ask me, i think the chances i have of making it is really very low. and i try to comfort myself by reminding myself that everyone can sing, but not everyone can write songs. but the vocals are like the most important thing and what chances do i have?

oh wellz, i'm gonna do my best and have fun while i'm at it.

for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic ;)

2010-08-01T01:06:00.003+08:00

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

I've always wondered why I was so dumb to keep on going back to you no matter how many times you've hurt me. I guess I know why now. I'm turning into the same dumb girl I was years ago. Maybe, just maybe.

2010-07-29T23:38:00.008+08:00

the next few days will be freaking packed.

friday: school + dance practice
saturday: PTC + the girls coming over + going out after that
sunday: rush all weekend homework
monday: school + STAR + band trial
tuesday: see katy perry live! (maybe if i decide to skip school)

MLIA = my life is average ^^

sadly, i'm not going for singfest. suck eggggs.

and i'm somehow excited plus nervous for monday. i have no idea why. i can be weird like that.

2010-07-27T22:47:00.004+08:00

This is practically where we live now. This is all we do now.

HATE SCHOOL. HATE THE FUCKING RULES.

enough said.

this whole thing is just a rant about school, so don't read if you don't want to.

you know, i left my house 20 minutes earlier than my usual timing today and i was almost still late. but i took cab so i wasn't. but i can't take a freaking cab to school every freaking day. that's madness.

and yesterday, there was a hugeass traffic jam outside school and like 200plus people were late and guess what? the bloody damn school booked everyone of them. those who stepped into school at least. some people would rather wait for hours at the polyclinic every single day they're "late" than get suspended ^^

and somehow the germs got to me and now i'm really sick!

okay so point is, everyday i either spend $ on mc or cab just to keep my record clean and i'm so sick of it. and i don't think i'm the only one who does that.

and i know i said this so many times before but i really mean it,

JC life isn't cut out for me. the only reason why i'm here is because i don't know what i want to do in polytechnic yet, and i feel like this is the only place i can be. so either way i'm just stuck here. what choice do i have?

this school fucking screwed my life up and sometimes i just feel like quitting. i really do.

anws if you're more like me and you're still in secondary school, do not go to a jc. ESPECIALLY TPFUCKINGJC.

2010-07-24T02:57:00.002+08:00

I just got myself into a whole load of shit

how on earth am i supposed to write lyrics for 3 songs + dance practice + school stuffs all at the same time?

i have no freaking idea.

but i want this. more than anything.

currently listening to love the way you lie. i really shouldn't be listening to any songs while writing cause it'll somehow affect the way i write. and it's of a different genre, and i'll fuck their song up pretty bad. but whateverz.

plus i'm damn worried. we all know my vocals aren't that strong. pretty sucky actually. i really need to steal someone else's voice!

MUAHAHA VOICE STEALER ^^

2010-07-24T02:43:00.004+08:00

But that's alright because i love the way you lie,

now watch this....

and this..

and this

aw :(

HAHAHA i told you i'm the bored-est kid alive.

oh, today we had so much fun during pe. we were playing captains ball under the hot sun, rolled in goalposts, and failed soccer with remus not even knowing how to play soccer. sometimes i still feel like i'm in a girls school XD

2010-07-18T22:54:00.002+08:00

Just one of those days

Today, i was the bored-est kid alive.

I refused to wake up and ended up waking up at 4pm. But there was still nothing to do after that, besides homework but ew? So i just lazed around plus eat plus watch tv. That is seriously all i did today.

It's 11:30PM, super early but i would really really like to sleep now because i bet my dreams are much more interesting. But noooo, i have freaking gp essay to do. I'm starting to get really really annoyed by teachers. Freaking homework, freaking deadlines.

I'm just staring at my gp question paper.

"Traditional values are of little merit today. I agree. The arguments are obvious. Look around you. Bye"

That is what i freaking feel like writing down okay! So fucking annoying. I want to sleep and homework's keeping me in reality.

2010-07-18T05:55:00.006+08:00

Once upon a Tuesday afternoon
while others were doing geography homework, and i was supposed too..

explains my results lol

even therapy can't help me :|

2010-07-15T21:51:00.004+08:00

HI EVERYONE PLEASE READ THIS
especially if you're from my school.

I am gonna say this for the last time, I DO NOT LIKE ANYBODY CURRENTLY.

Not blah or blahblah or blahblahblah.

Okay with the exception of ____ but he doesn't know I exist so.. yup.

I'm aware of more things than you think I am. But I pretend not to because it'll just be awkward.

And sometimes I really don't know what to do. If I ignore anyone I'll just feel really bad but if I don't I'll feel like I'm leading them on.

SO WHAT THE HELL DO I DO YOU TELL ME?

It's been driving me crazy k, crazy!

Besides, I really like certain people but only as friends. So ignoring is not an option.

I told you I should turn lesboz. It'll solve all my problems. Every freaking one.

Sorry but I think it's about time I do this, to set things straight. And not attempt to spread outdated news that I'm dating someone. That was just a fail.

Maybe this will help me know who my true friends are too. Cause if you're really a friend, you'll still stick around.

2010-07-14T00:11:00.005+08:00

I just need a bit more time to get you off my mind tonight.

After this post, I swear the past week will cease to exist.

I'm proven that I'm not so paranoid and insecure after all! My doubts were confirmed and so I WAS RIGHT. I've been right all along :) I just chose to ignore the warnings in my head.

And this honey, this goes out to you.

Okay so I'm done with that.

Person #2: I don't reply to you because I don't wanna end up saying things I'll regret. If that makes me a bad person, okay. Good luck with school.
Person #3: Stop telling everyone I'm your girlfriend. Or shit like that.
Person #4: Please stop thinking everything is about you.

Whateverz I'm just gonna turn lesboz OR continue obsessing over ____. Okay obsess isn't the word. I don't know what is.

This is gonna be freaking anti-climax but I passed my 2.4km run hehehehe (:

GOODNIGHT ♥

2010-07-12T01:07:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, we went to a flea!

Flash light battery or something like that, at Scape. Scape fleas are so fucking awesome I tell you.

I saw a leather jacket at a reasonable price and quality and I don't know what I was thinking, I didn't get it. And now I'm regretting every single bit of it. REGRETTT, k? Pfft. Oh wells at least I got like orange sneakers hehehe :)

But I'm still finding something equivalent to it and I won't sleep in peace until I do!

Tulz and I have no life. We're always roaming around places when we should be home uhh, doing homework? LOL. But don't worry I'm the biggest no-lifer of them all (:

Oh and we were supposed to do the shoot but we found out that one photo costs like $45 which is freaking ridiculous. So being nice, considerate people, we decided not to waste their time and not do it. Since we're not gonna buy the photos anw. Even though the person working there told us to just go for it. But naaaaah.

And here are Tulika's and Larz' reactions

Her name is Hilarie btw but I like calling her Larz and she feels like a boy everytime I call her that. HEHEHE HI LARRY :D

Yup so I'm done here. 1:30AM. School later.

My sister's snoring like a dinosaur, sigh. I swear she sleeps unglamly.

GOODNIGHT ♥

2010-07-11T14:36:00.004+08:00

I won't tell anybody how you turn my world around
Won't tell anyone how your voice is my favorite sound.
Won't tell anybody, won't tell anybody.

♥

Until I'm sure this will last.

2010-07-08T21:37:00.005+08:00

So follow me down, out of this town ♥

I don't know whaddup with you guys. When i have negative posts the number of blog views go up like crazy. It shows just how people like others to be miserable. HAHA.

PICNIC WITH THE GIRLS!

OUR RAINBOW CUPCAKEZXZ :D

I was 2 hours late because I seriously had nothing to wear plus I got lost along the way. LOL. I was raping my mom's closet cause I seriously ran out of clothes (yes I'm aware I said raping and not raiding). I even tried wearing my daddy's but it was too stuffy. Sighs, I'm a living example of what Lookbook does to you. Like if I don't know what to wear, I'll be like, "oooh let's get inspiration from lookbook!" Yeaaah.

So I was wearing my mom's tee AND my dad's belt. HAHAHA. And my own shorts and sneakers XD Pretty weird outfit I should say.

GOODNIGHT ♥ :)

2010-07-07T00:54:00.003+08:00

HI MY NON-EXISTENT SELF-ESTEEM JUST WENT DOWN MORE

BET IT'S LIKE NEGATIVE THOUSAND NOW OR SOMETHING

Today, i'm pretty sure there's something wrong with the whole world. Like really really wrong. Or maybe if i step out of my freaking fairytale where there's no h8, i'll get used to it.

Remember when i said i'm just average?

Well actually i'm not even fucking average.

I'm below average. WAY BELOW AVERAGE.

I only exist in this world to make everyone feel good about themselves when they compare themselves to me.

Well, at least it'll make them happy :)

And i'm freaking tempted to smash the mirror now. Mother freaking tempted.

2010-07-05T00:10:00.002+08:00

Today in the blink of an eye, I'm holding on to something and I do not know why.

HAHA my freedom is so.freaking.short-lived. It's now partially gone.

I OUGHT TO BE KILLED.

But I did say partially. K just a small proportion. BUT STILL!

I bet nobody knows what I'm blabbering about. Oh wellz all of you will know sooner or later, maybe.

I don't even know if there's an "all of you". I don't know who reads this shit anymore.

Okay whatever. Today, Larz and I went to Sarah's house and we baked rainbow cupcakes and cakes. And they turned out so freaking pretty :) I didn't really see the final product tho.

I watched The Runaways yesterday and it was freaking awesome. Like so freaking awesome. And then I started checking out the band and omg they're good. Although I'm decades too late.

I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, CHERRY BOMB.

2010-07-01T23:12:00.003+08:00

These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections - sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent - that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. The events that my death wrought were merely the bones of a body that would become whole at some unpredictable time in the future. The price of what I came to see as this miraculous body had been my life.

Liyana and I watched The Lovely Bones at my place just now. It was freaking awesome like really really. If you haven't watched it yet, watch it! (:

SO EXAMS ARE OVER! :DD

And I'm so looking forward to the weekends.

Which starts tomorrow (ok technically today) and ends on monday.

HEHEHE

:)

2010-06-29T03:18:00.003+08:00

3:22AM

I wanna feel weightless, and that should be enough ♥

#thelifeofaJCstudent

3 hours sleep last night. Must be up by 8am tmrw. Still awake now.

Whatever.

#thelifeofme

Non-existent.

I am freaking xcited for the weekends can't wait omg.

The only thing I actually got into my head this week is the fact that Ghana is a country. Not some indian soccer dude. I'll probably remember that for the rest of my life. And since the whole world already knows..

Qamarul: Ghana scored :(
Me: i have no idea who that is but okaaay. lol. is he indian? he sounds indian.
Qamarul: ITS A COUNTRY!!!!

In my defense, GHANA SOUNDS TOTALLY INDIAN K?

Tell me when you get here.

2010-06-26T17:15:00.000+08:00

So it's the last weekend of the school holidays. Should I hang out or study?

Either way, I'm still screwed for exams.

2010-06-25T01:43:00.002+08:00

CONFESSION

I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
I do not see myself living here in the future.
Fine maybe when I'm old and graying, i'll be back here.
But then again, my visions can be wrong.
I have no idea why i'm in a JC seriously.
I'm gonna fail my midyears.
And my promos.
I regret taking Geography.
I don't see the need for us all to study so much.
We're all gonna end up in graves anyway.
I gave up trying.

2010-06-23T05:19:00.002+08:00

By the sound of things I'm losing sleep
For all the right reasons.

I should probably get to sleep.

But I don't want to, just yet. It's like something's missing. Like I forgot something. But I just can't seem to figure out what. Suckscore.

SO, June holidays are coming to an end and omg I swear I'm gonna freaking die.

And my facebook profile picture's from like 2 (or 1) years ago and it's way deceiving cause I don't look like that anymore. But it's still me. And I don't like the way I look now so.. yup. I swear I look fuglier and fuglier as the years pass by :|

It's 5:38am now. My mom just woke up and I was like, goodnight mom!

So yes, goodnight! ;)

Just take me away from all that I am.

2010-06-20T02:57:00.001+08:00

I'm fungry and I think life makes no sense at all currently.

My life is just, weird.

And I have no control of it at all.

2010-06-19T05:20:00.004+08:00

I heart these suckas!
Plus the other 3 ;)

One's in Japan. One's at madrasah camp. One's too far away.

So we had ice cream today!
(okay maybe yesterday since it's already 6am but you get the drift)

Before that we were buying farisha's present, then tuls and her walked right outside the shop we were at and waved. We were like, O.O HII! and turned back and went like, "let's pretend we don't know them." If you hang enough with us, you'll see that that's totally normal behavior XD

But yeah, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY FARISHA! ♥

Stay the crazy girl that you are. Seriously, I don't know how you can be so crazy one moment and so serious the next. It takes skills! (:

ANYWAYS..

I think my eyes are getting smaller, and smaller. My eyebags are getting puffier, and puffier. And my cheeks are getting chubbier, and chubbier.

I just have to smile and it poofs out. Not even making blowfish faces yet >:/

And did I mention it's already 6am?

I'm not sleepy.
Not even close.

2010-06-18T00:27:00.007+08:00

I'm just, average.

I'm feeling guilty because...

I DID NOT STUDY TODAY.
LIKE AT ALL.

And exams are in a week.

All i did was just cam-whore (without a camera) and eat.

I left my camera in the dance studio. I don't know how I'm gonna survive the next week of the holidays without a camera.

Isya came over just now and all we needed was a laptop, apple pies, and each other to have a good time. Oh, not forgetting people to prank on msn (:

And I got locked out of my own tumblr can you believe it?! :(

Oh well, I'm just gonna sleep my guilt away.

Goodnight! <3

2010-06-17T05:00:00.000+08:00

HI GUYS! :D

I got rid of my archives hehe. Okay it's still somewhere around where only I can access it ;) All 1123 posts from long long ago.

Readers who have been reading my blog from long, long ago, I LOVE YOU GUYS STILL OKAY! Like to the max! Thanks for reading on a daily/weekly basis. I know there are some of you who do. I ♥ you people. I'll try to blog the same way as I did, slightly less personal though.

New readers who do not know of the existence of my blog until now, HI! :D I'm sorry you missed out on like, 1123 posts. It's a new beginning now.

OH HERE'S MY TUMBLR
www.madeupsecrets.tumblr.com

I spend more time there than I actually should.

FOLLOW ME, FOLLOW ME, FALALALALA (:

P/S: My blog song stays though.

<3

2010-06-17T04:57:00.001+08:00

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